Long Way Home 

Apple TV+

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CLUNES and Morrissey, Mortimer and Whitehouse, Baddiel and Dennis, Rinder and Clark … before any of the current crop of celebrity travel duos, there was Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman. 

Back in 2004 they were just two skinny drifters on motorbikes, off to see the world, and what a lot of it there was to see in Long Way Round (London to New York), Down (John O’Groats to Capetown); and Up (Ushuaia in Argentina to LA).

Now the pair are back with Long Way Home, for Apple TV+. The route will take them from Scotland to England via 17 European countries. Like the bikes they are travelling on, both are now of a certain vintage, MAMILS in leather rather than Lycra, and in the case of Boorman, with a long and painful history of repairs after several accidents.

For all those reasons and more - that title for a kick off - Long Way Home feels like a farewell. As McGregor says in the first episode, film companies don’t like people heading off on motorbikes. Think of the insurance for a start. 

But here they are, Charley and Ewan, or Ewan and Charley if you prefer. It always seemed like McGregor was the alpha of the two, the more charismatic but grumpier one. Now in his fifties, had time made him any cheerier?  

As the halfway point approached, the pair were in Norway, having been through Germany, Denmark, and Sweden. So far there had been no outbreak of the Victor Meldrews on McGregor’s part, though he looked narked when a kid in Sweden pumped up the volume in his Volvo sound system, shattering the peace. The speakers were so massive they took up the entire back seat. McGregor issued a word to the wise about hearing damage, but that was it. Mr Easy-Osey, that’s him.

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Hugely competitive, mind you, as when he and Boorman had an axe-throwing competition (woman TV critic rolls eyes). McGregor missed the bullseye, Boorman hit it, McGregor tried again and failed again.

With megabucks Apple TV now running the show, there has been an upgrade in everything. The stop-offs are more interesting, and the back-up consists of a third-person motorcycle escort plus a small crew in two electric trucks. Apart from that, the pair are all alone out there (eye roll number two).

I shouldn’t mock because the back-up was needed when - spoiler alert - someone took a spill. It could have been much worse. 

On their way to see a Viking church built in 1158, there was some serious snow to get through. In the quiet of the church Boorman took a moment to remember his late sister, gone far too soon at 36. Being on these trips gave him time to think, he said. 

With the road calling again, they were off once more. Cool hand McGregor was steering one-handed, listening to the Chemical Brothers. 

“It’s a pleasure riding with you Ewan,” said Boorman. 

“It’s been a pleasure riding with you too Charley, as always,” came the reply. 

If this is the last hurrah they are going out in style and, in McGregor’s case, a not-so-grumpy way. Safe home, boys.